First Step to Leave Depression: Be Sad.

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Achievement Unlocked: Seeking Knowledge.

Congratulations! You are already on your first step of getting out from depression, seeking knowledge. You stumbled upon some online depression help sites. Seven Stages of Grief should be familiar to you now, and a question appear into your head: What is Denial? 

Feeling how your depression is not as bad as other people's problem, you are a little bit confused. "Am I really depressed?". If so, we are on the same boat. I'm just a little guy here sharing my experience going through depression, I hope you find a thing or two from here.

Denial: Uncomfortable Things Happened, But No Acknowledgement.

"Yea, I'm fine. :)" 
"All good, I don't want to bother anyone."
"Someone else is having worse situation than me, this is nothing."
"I am strong. Strong man no cry!"
These words are you reassuring yourself to stay away from feeling uncomfortable, because it is not a fun feeling. It's awful. Your mind will actively staying away from feeling awful and making those reassurance.
Now a little bit of a painful truth here, that is denial. You refuse to acknowledge pain. It is really normal to be in this situation, a lot of people refuse the feeling of pain. A lot of people stuck in this situation of denial, including this little guy right here, me(Tiyo). But here is a little bit of a challange for you. Can you debate your mind? 

Reassurance is for Later, My Good Friend. You Need to be Sad.

Reassurance is on the last stage of grief, it is later than the Depression itself. It is in the scope of Acceptance. I am just a little guy here but please hear my humble experience right here:
Please, take it slow.
As fun as not to be seen as weakling, you are hurt somewhere in your heart. You need to process your emotions and be sad. It is fine to be weak because you are in a difficult situation right now. It is fine to be clueless. It is fine to cry. You need time to be sad.
How slow? At the very least, three days. Keep asking yourself what you are feeling at this moment in time. You are in an episode of your life story, and you are in Depression episode right now. Three days is the first gateway of time for you to think about your problem by yourself. If you are still overwhelmed after three days, talk to someone you trust. Seek professional help if things bother you for more than two months. 

Some Questions for You to Be Good at being Sad

As for anything to be good at, there are some goals that we can achieve, and this can also be applied onto being sad. Here are some of my questions that I've accumulated through out my two years of being depressed and looking for help, psychiatrist hopping, and self research:

You know what sad person are good at? Writing. Try to write things down while you answer these questions, it will make things clearer to you.

You need to ask these questions to yourself, and answer it when you are ready. 

  • What time is it? Where am I?
    Be aware of your surroundings. It's easy to do because it's external, it's outside your body.

  • What am I feeling right now?
    If you don't know what you are feeling, try to look for Feeling Wheel. Sadness is not just one, there are types of sadness, look it up. 

  • Can I really feel this way?
    Yes. The answer is yes. What you feel right now is valid.

  • Why do I feel this way?
    "I don't know? Things?" might be your answer. Try to explain those things.

  • Is that the only why? 
    "I don't know? Maybe?" means yes from my experience. 

  • This is exhausting. I need to rest. 
    You are doing great. Remember, take it slow. You have three days to think about it. If it still bothers you, ask for help. 

Eeeeeyy. You just save some money there for the usual first meeting with psychiatrist. I hope you are doing great in your Depression episode. Keep asking, keep thinking, because at the end of the day we are just a thinking reed. 

Ditulis oleh:
Pak Tiyo
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